Runners, they lie

Running's perfect, they said. All you need is sneakers and the road, they said. You can do it anytime, anywhere, they insisted. You can just run a couple of miles. That's all.

Hogwash.

First, it was the $100 Brooks Ghost running shoes. Comfortable, sturdy workhorse. OK, now I'm all set. Thanks, Playmakers.

Darn, forgot a sports bra. Ooh. Runner's World magazine rates Moving Comfort the best. I'll take one of those.

Some of the gear I brought on vacation.

And I don't know what I'm doing, so I need an app for that. Enter Couch to 5K. Definitely worth it.

Oh, but my headphones pop out all the time and I can't run without my Pandora. YurBuds save the day. That's it.

It's hot and I sweat too much. I need wicking fabrics. Target, here I come. Running Warehouse, send me another pair of running shorts. Marshall's, thanks for carrying name-brand gear cheap.

It's sunny, so back to Target for Ironman sunglasses. They don't slip off. Love 'em. No more.

My hamstrings are tight. Target sells foam rollers? Throw one in the cart.

Finished my goal 5K, so why not sign up for another one (or five)?

It's now winter, I'm cold and it's dark when I run. I need high-visibility gear that won't let me freeze, but I don't want to drive in this weather. Running Warehouse has free shipping, you say? Nike hyper warm jacket and tights made it in record time.

Now it's spring. Back to hot and sweaty. Need some water for the road. Thanks, gear swap event with runner friends. Got a Nathan's belt with two water bottles and pockets -- for free. Score!

You've done 5K, you can certainly do 10K and run a marathon relay. Um, yeah. Why not?

Did that already and didn't die? Pfft, then you can do a half easy. You've got more than three months to train.

Running more miles. Need to fuel. What do you mean I can eat candy on my run? How many packets of Sport Beans can this belt hold?

Training for my first half marathon, so I need some experienced runners to help me get through the long runs. Join a running club and get a team tech shirt and two discount coupons? Sure, where do I sign?

Playmakers has a huge sale and the running watch with GPS is on sale? Pass. I gotta buy my daughter's Brooks Adrenaline so she can start running two-a-days with her high school cross country team. Because it's going to be a lot of fun -- in August. Scout's honor.