And, yes, I still consider myself a runner. I read Runner's World religiously. I chat with my Black Girls Run Lansing team mates on a regular basis. And I have a race on the calendar: the Turkeyman Trot in Lansing on Thanksgiving morning.
And yet...
There's so much I miss about the kind of training I was doing for the Capital City River Run Half Marathon.
The kind of running that leaves you spent. That makes you take a nap on a Saturday afternoon because you...just...can't...not...sleep.
The kind of running that leaves your laundry room full of dripping technical clothes, your drawers full of running gear you can't quite keep track of and your wallet empty because of purchasing all the aforementioned gear.
There's more, of course. The adrenaline. The runner's high. The having-something-to-write-about-on-my-blog.
Sure, there are things I don't miss. The hours away from my family because I just had to get in that five (or 10) miler to stay on track. The empty wallet. The hard work.
Scratch that. I even miss the hard work, the pain, the struggle. It strengthened me. It made me feel alive.
There might just be a word for all of these feelings, but I just can't think of it. Closest I can come to it is, it's almost like winter's here.
Having to let go of my running -- hopefully only for a short while -- feels like winter has taken over even this part of my life.
But like every winter for the past 25 years, there's still a glimmer of hope just around the corner. April will be here before I know it with its blooming crocuses, sunny skies and even slightly warmer temps.
For now, I'll cling to that even as I have more free time to fret about what comes in between.
What do you miss about running when you can't run? Is there anything you don't miss at all?
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